


Rectal Justice

by AceyEnn



Series: Served Promptly [4]
Category: Homestuck, dril - Fandom
Genre: Crack Fic, F/M, Inappropriate usage of the American flag, Terezi fucking Dril up the ass with a Bad Dragon dildo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:00:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3721243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceyEnn/pseuds/AceyEnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Terezi Pyrope learns that a famous Twitter user really did fuck the flag, she must bring him to justice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rectal Justice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MistCover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistCover/gifts).



> context: http://grimdarkthroes.tumblr.com/post/116083790591/rectaljustice-said-very-carefully-your-url-makes
> 
> i really can't explain the rest of it though i'm sorry

_“good news folks, today i dreamt about buying Furniture w/my girl followers so i punished myself by slamming the toilet lid on my fat fingers”_

 

Dril hit “enter,” satisfied with his latest masterpiece. His fingers were still sore from the aforementioned toilet-slamming, but he’d be damned if that prevented him from delivering quality content to his legions of followers.

 

He didn’t know why so many people were following him. It made him a little uncomfortable sometimes.

 

And right now, it seemed that one of his followers was trying to contact him. Loudly. From outside his little hovel.

 

Dril leaned out the window and saw a girl, one who was definitely of legal age but looked younger because you’re all sick fucks and I know you probably get off on that shit. She had bobbed black hair and wore a police uniform. More striking, though, was her skin tone--not that Dril was racist or anything, but he wasn’t used to seeing people with grey skin, except for that one time when he walked into the San Diego Convention Center while trying to find the Betsy Ross Museum.

 

Oh, and she had horns and sharp teeth. That was a thing too.

 

“DRIL WINT,” she screeched, “YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR FUCKING THE AMERICAN FLAG. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?”

 

“MotherFUCK,” Dril muttered. In his defense, the flagpole had felt fucking amazing shoved up his ass, and the cloth of the flag was far nicer on his dick than tissues could ever be...but he should’ve known he’d get found out. He should’ve known.

 

Before he could totally process what was going on, the young woman had used her blindness cane (did I mention that? Because she had one okay) as a battering ram to knock down his door, and was now standing no more than five feet away from him.

 

“Bluh, you smell like ferrets,” she groaned.

 

Great, and now she knew about the ferret-kissing too? Fuck his life.

 

As she handcuffed him, Dril felt his dong rising, swelling majestically to its full, relatively underwhelming (but not too tiny, this is porn you guys) size. “You’re the most attractive cop who’s ever arrested me…” he sighed. “Can we just have sex instead of me going to jail? I can make you Twitter famous.”

 

The girl’s eyes widened, not that anyone could tell due to her shades. “I...I’ve always loved you, Dril,” she confessed. “I would love it if you mentioned me on your Twitter.”

 

“Do you have a name?”

 

“Terezi. Terezi Pyrope.”

 

“Haha, sweet. Let’s fuck then.”

 

“I’ll deliver the best kind of justice there is,” Terezi said with a grin. She pulled a bright red Bad Dragon strap-on from her sylladex, and went to work undressing and strapping it on. “Rectal justice.”

 

“My asshole lubes itself,” Dril noted.

 

“Mine too!” Terezi gasped. “We have more in common than I ever could’ve guessed, you and I. Now remove your pants!”

  
“I’m not wearing any?”

 

Terezi looked--smelled--down. “Huh,” she said. “I’m not sure how I didn’t notice that.”

 

As Dril’s asshole began secreting lubricant, Terezi J-J-JAMMED IT IN, thrusting hard, her nails digging into the handcuffed Twitterer’s asscheeks, drawing tiny rivulets of candy-red blood. The troll grew even more aroused at the scent of D3L1C1OUS R3D and began licking his ass, which required a rather impressive degree of flexibility. She sure was glad she’d taken troll yoga all those sweeps ago!

 

He came first, his weiner spurting out an obscene amount of jizz. Terezi pulled out, not wanting to overwhelm the man, and quickly flicked her bean until she came, causing her to SQUART ACROSS THE ROOM.

 

The two lay together on the shag carpeting in Dril’s bedroom after that. It was time--Terezi had to admit her true motives.

 

“I wasn’t actually here to arrest you.”

 

“What??”

 

“It’s just...you’re my Twitter senpai, Dril. I kept trying to get you to notice me but you never did, so I had to resort to drastic measures!”

 

She paused. “And I’m pretty sure fucking the flag is illegal in some capacity, so I wouldn’t have been out of bounds in arresting you anyway.”

 

“They wouldn’t let me fuck it,” Dril replied. “I snuck in.”

 

“You are so devious.” Terezi grinned, kissing Dril on the cheek. “I could punish you in so many ways…so many different kinds of justice.”

 

“We can fuck on the Meme Quilt. Someone’s already jacked off on it so it’s ruined anyway…”

  
“Wonderful.”

  
And with that, they fell asleep, both knowing in their hearts that a truer love could not possibly exist.

 

GOOD END

 

 


End file.
